The Fallen Ones Film Blog

Film Reviews

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army Movie Review

Friday, July 11th, 2008

I became a huge fan of Guillermo del Toro right after I saw what he did with Blade II. He totally made that film his and attention to detail with all of the creatures and baddies in that film were amazing. I went back and watched his previous films The Devils […]

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

A comedy from an original screenplay by Apatow, Smigel and Sandler, follows the exploits of a Mossad agent who fakes his death so he can anonymously move to New York and become a hair stylist.

Adam Sandler is kind of like Cher’s wardrobe.  No matter what the critics say he keeps coming back for more.  If […]

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (review)

Friday, May 16th, 2008

o the Woods

Yes, it’s sort of even more Lord of the Rings-ish than The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was — I’m talking about the movies here — what with warrior trees and some deadly magic on a raging river and all the battles and creatures and so on. For which you cannot honestly […]

Baby Mama (review)

Friday, April 25th, 2008

Baby Mama? Really? That’s where we’re going with this? We’re turning supposedly grown women into juvenile idiots like we’ve been doing with supposedly grown men of late? Why don’t we just call it Knocked Up and be done with it?
Look: Babies are great. Sex is great. Messy and ridiculous and laughable — babies and sex […]

Untraceable

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

Cast: Diane Lane, Billie Burke, Colin Hanks
Director: Gregory Hoblit
Running time: 100 mins

Hoblit loves directing thrillers that are as twisted as a corkscrew.

His previous films, Primal Fear and Fracture, attest to that. In his latest project he is on top form once again.
It’s about a hunt for a serial killer, with a difference. […]

Sleepwalking (review)

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

A well-meaning but hopelessly inept mother (Charlize Theron: Monster, who also produced the film) abandons her 11-year-old daughter (AnnaSophia Robb: Jumper) with her even more incapable brother (Nick Stahl: Sin City) while Mom goes off to do, well, we don’t know what. That kind of untidy loose end — which is meant, I suspect, to […]

Movie review: ‘10,000 BC’ a pre-hysterical riot

Monday, March 10th, 2008

Not since Snakes on a Plane has a movie had a trailer that more perfectly captured its essence. The previews of 10,000 BC show lots of good-looking primitive people (with great teeth—they must have had great dental plans in 10,000 BC) fighting other primitive people and hunting/dodging mammoths.
And that’s the film. Loopy eye candy that […]

Movie review: ‘Be Kind Rewind’

Saturday, February 23rd, 2008

 Be Kind Rewind
Directed by Michel Gondry
Partizan
Rating: 4
Michel Gondry’s newest work, Be Kind Rewind, is a shamelessly feel-good film encased within the witty dialogue and whimsical camera work that defines Gondry’s style.
The movie’s heart and soul is the Be Kind Rewind video store, owned by Mr. Fletcher (Morgan Freeman). When the store starts to lose money […]

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (review)

Friday, February 15th, 2008

I should have walked out at the “comical” dog-sex scene. Instead I endured until Martin Lawrence got skunked in the face — that should have made me happy, and yet I felt dirty all over, and had to escape. Still, I feel confident in saying, though I saw only two-thirds of the film, that this […]

‘Jumper’ Movie Review

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

One ‘Jumper’ Not Worth Saving
Fallen Ones Rating
 America’s litigious society has now made it so that you can’t get coffee from a fast food chain without drinking it out of a cup warning you its contents may be hot. Everything has some sort of warning label attached, most of which we ignore. But […]

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