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Fool’s Gold Movie Review
By admin | February 5, 2008
You would have to be a fool to enjoy the aptly titled “Fool’s Gold.”
More than that, the film by director and co-writer Andy Tennant (“Hitch” and “Sweet Home Alabama”) couldn’t entertain a chimpanzee. Or a naked man playing the bongos while high, for that matter. And one would hope that star Matthew McConaughey (“A Time to Kill” and “Contact”) was as far from clear-headed as possible when he signed on to play the lead in this adventure romantic comedy gone atrociously awry co-written by John Claflin and Daniel Zelman (who have partnered on such classics as USA’s “They Nest”). You would never know Claflin and Zelman were classmates at Harvard when you shrink at hearing the most ridiculous dialogue and cringe while watching the most painfully mind-boggling story drag you for a full two hours across iodine-soaked sandpaper. But McConaughey hasn’t been anywhere near a truly great movie or script since “Frailty.” So what’s Kate Hudson’s excuse? The star made famous by Cameron Crowe’s “Almost Famous” seems to think she and McConaughey have chemistry after “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” a highly overrated romance where the onscreen relationship was too forced to feel remotely natural or even be entertaining; so it should be no surprise that McConaughey and Hudson are re-teaming for “Fool’s Gold,” a highly ineffectual, utterly excruciating adventure romance where the onscreen relationship isn’t even given enough effort to feel forced and contrived, and doesn’t come anywhere in the world near anything decent or minutely entertaining.
While getting a divorce, Finn (McConaughey) is too busy off diving for buried treasure, and he shows up late to his own divorce proceedings where Tess (Hudson) reams him out and flirts with the idea of flirting with him. Through long spurts of empty and pedestrian exposition, we discover that the couple used to love to search for treasure together, particularly one that was lost in 1715 and apparently, they are the only ones in the entire world actively hunting for it. Along the way, they drag a billionaire, Nigel (Donald Sutherland in a completely atypical role that he should have passed up without considering for even one split second), and his abominably mind-numbing rich and obnoxious daughter, Gemma (Alexis Dziena) on a quest for the sunken gold for money that Nigel doesn’t need, Gemma doesn’t understand, Tess doesn’t have a real reason to care about at all, and Finn doesn’t have the brains or the resources to go after alone. With gangsters, rivals, and nature working against them, Finn and Tess struggle through trials and tribulations that make no sense whatsoever and magically bring them together despite them having been hopelessly driven apart. To call the scenario absurd would be giving it too much credit. To say the dialogue and characters were nowhere near believable would be far too kind and only serve as a way to avoid explicatives from the revulsion this film causes in its rotten attempts to be fun and exciting.
With an overblown score that never fits the moment and makes the tension more awkward in the audience than alive on the screen, “Fool’s Gold” never fails to overdo every irritating character trait, every flat joke, and every completely manipulative attempt to make you feel anything for the characters or what they go through to end up at the most trite and unrelenting conclusion where you wish the characters would just all die so the movie could finally be over and the pain of watching it would pass. The movie is unforgivable in the trash it attempts to pedal as adventure, romance, humor, and most of all, writing. Even more jarring is the acting that is so inexcusably bad with some who have such palpable talent and yet that shining beacon of Hollywood dazzle is nowhere to be found in the dark abyss that this movie should be hurled into, never to see daylight again. Save yourself a lot of wasted time and money, and go see anything but “Fool’s Gold.” Sadly, there’s not a single redeeming quality, moment, or factor to the movie, save that it demonstrates exactly the kind of incredibly poor quality of movies that is being allowed to pass for entertainment, not to mention the far worse standards to which studios are sinking to get actors who can turn in performances worthy of Oscar gold into roles in films that the Razzie’s wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole in the hopes of luring the unsuspecting to the theater. Want a good Valentine’s Day flick with tropical islands, wacky adventure, and romantic comedy? Rent “Six Days, Seven Nights” with Harrison Ford.
Topics: Film Reviews |